Well nothing like sitting down at the computer well past midnight to find the flaws in yourself am I right? I guess I should start at the beginning shouldn’t I? So it all began around 12:30am and me being the angst ridden teenager who thinks the world is out to get him so he deals with it by verbally abusing those around, which I am. I sat down at this very blog with one phrase at my lips “What am I doing wrong?” but then I thought to myself, “what the hell do I care?” It’s a problem best left for when that big bright ball in the sky is streaming its annoying light into my face preventing me from sleeping and being the . . . . sleepyhead that I am I didn’t and won’t move 2 feet to close the blinds. I’ll get up and pad my way into the kitchen and make myself breakfast . . . well a very late lunch (isn’t summer great?). Then I’ll do the million chores my parents left me (world out to get me right?). After all that is finished I’ll sit down to play WoW with this blog as an afterthought. Then I’ll look out the window, it’ll be dark and the blog problem will be left for a time when a big bright ball . . .
But anyway back to my flash back of an event that only happen 15 minutes ago. So I go back to my last blog comment made by my BF (Blogger friend, what did you think I meant?) Anea. I go through the list of blogs she recommended me. I click on the first one “Kiss my Alas”. I click on the about page and go through her fanfiction and immediately pull out a pen and paper entitled “Blog Roll”. I click on her fanfiction links and 15 chapters later I decide to look at some of the other blogs my BF recommended. They get added to the list aswell, I follow her recommendation and check her blog roll. I scroll down and down and down, I finally reach the bottom and . . . Holy Shit this chick likes a lot of blogs . . . wow look at the time, time to go to bed. I follow my bedtime checklist. Turn off the computer, untangle my sheets (restless sleeper), crawl in, turn off the lights, and sleep. Yeah right . . . See my brain does this really annoying thin thing where it won’t shut up! So I ponder the great mysteries of life: Does Sarah know I exist? Would she go out with me if I asked? Don’t be stupid she’s way outta my league. You get the idea because this goes on for about 45 minutes. I finally settle on the blog dilemma. And why no one commented on Trynda’s Tale, people commented on Northrend, Ho. Why didn’t anyone email me about my blog warming gift offer, Windsoar’s muse project worked . . . it’s going to be like totem tossing all over again. Why am I so addicted to approval? I toss and I turn and try as I might I just can’t get back to sleep So I turn on my light, sit at my desk and grab the pen and Blogroll paper –cross out the blogs—and get started on writing this post. 3 pages of chicken scratch later (I’m too lazy to turn on the computer) what have I learned?
-My lowercase b’s are ugly.
– I can’t for the life of me spell dilemma ❤ spell check
– And I learned that my family is right. I’m not addicted to approval its nothing that selfless. Needing your approval means I care about what you think, unfortunately I only care about what I think. What my family is right about is I have too high standards which leave me disappointed when they don’t turn out. I think my Trynda’s Tale needs A LOT of work and so does my about page.
Where was I? I had a brain fart about starting a DK back story . . . What its 3am.
Oh yeah. I guess in my mind I wanted to start a blog, have readers flock to me and blizzard naming a piece of gear after me all in one afternoon. Yeah I know if I were Sarah I wouldn’t date me either. I’m an egotistical maniac who needs their fat head deflated.
So what have I gained?
-hand cramp after 4 pages
-the knowledge that I use the word “so” a lot.
– and the ambition to do this blog justice and I plan to invest in this blog!
Thanks for listening to my rand about me. Writing this has worn me out, dealing with all these inner demons has made me a little more angst-filled, might join a few BG’s to take it out verbally on others . . . Laters.
P.S I need an asprin, you get to read it in nice font I have to decode my writing . . . fun.