Christmas and the New Year holiday and festivities are officially over, regardless of the themed header still up or the mini christmas tree on my nightstand (What?!? It’s just so pretty!). I guess I can’t put this post off any longer, and trust me I’ve been putting it off for quite a while. I would just disguise my inability to write as “the business of the holidays” or “needing to get back into a routine”. What “inspired” me, I don’t even know if inspired is the proper word to use here or not, anyway…. There are two bloggers who made me actually face what was going on and made me actually see where I was headed.
First of them is Saga from Spellbound. Her post, “The Honesty Clause” brought to light there standards that I was and still am playing in. Bucklers of Swash once was a great raiding guild. We had 2 group running ICC at its peak. One group was even throughly entrenched in hardmodes. Once Cataclysm was released we started to spiral downward. We we’re down to one group raiding irregularly, we were having a hard time recruiting on our dying server of Mug’thol. It looked like we were down and out. I guess you could say this all started happening when our Guild leader and his wife had a baby. They tried to run the guild but it was just too much for them. Both have full-time teaching jobs, running a large guild, and a new baby. Something had to give and you guys can guess which. I can’t and don’t blame them for leaving but around the time they did is when everything went to shit.
I do give mad props to the very fancy lady who stepped in, she was our 2nd guildleader I guess you could say. She was always in charge of the bank and of recruiting. Now she and a long time officer in our guild stepped up to run our guild. We were doing great after we server transferred, from Mug’thol to Bleeding Hollow. We got a solid raiding group together to run firelands (6/7 before 4.3 came out). Everything was going great till this holiday season. The new guild leader, the long time officer, said he rather a sci-fi MMO to a fantasy one so he is entrenched in SW:ToR, is he coming back? No idea. We barely have anyone login anymore. Without raiding there just isn’t a real reason for me to login anymore. I mean sure there’s LFR, randoms, and alts but it’s not the same without that core group of people cracking each other up in vent every other night. There’s no mention of starting raids back up on the guild forums and everyone I ask has no idea what’s going on. Is this the end of my guild? I sure hope not, I’ve played with them for 3 years. I’d be lost looking for a new home. Primarily the only reason I log in now-a-days is to do my argent tourney dailies. Yeah, that’s right to do level 80 dailies to get heirlooms for my paladin. Which at the rate things are going, is going to be pointless. Which brings me to the next blogger.
Vidyala from Manalicious, recently wrote the post, “Business Time, Hard Modes, and the “C” Word“ I was reading this post late one night, sitting in my dorm room when three lines she wrote really hit me.
“Was I spending too much time on what is, ultimately, a video game? “
“Did I want this to be such a major feature of my life?”
“ Could I reinvest my energy in another area?”
I started playing this game in 2006, I got hooked, I was addicted. My parents (I was 13 at the time) had to set up parental controls just so I wouldn’t spend all day and half the night on it. I obviously figured out the password and hacked in and set the hours to my choosing (and still do) but that is totally besides the point. I’ve been playing this game for almost 6 years, and no other game has caught my eye. That’s like a freakin’ marriage, and a god damn faithful one at that! I got Skyrim for Christmas which might be leading to the burn out but I have a feeling that it isn’t so much burning out as it is a realization. A few things you have to know about me is that I’m in my first year of University, studying up to be a doctor (that’s the plan anyway). Here’s the kicker, I was unsure of becoming a doctor because of all the crazy, unpredictable hours they work. It’s not what your thinking, I can assure you. I was worried that my schedule wouldn’t let me raid. That’s right. I was unsure of going into a profession that requires 4 years of high school to apply for 4 years of university, so I could apply for 4 years of medical school, so that I can apply for a 5 year internship (I want to be a surgeon) so I can then do a fellowship for however many years, so then I can do 2-3 years of specialization, before I’m a full-fledged surgeon. I was unsure if investing almost 20 years into a profession because I wasn’t sure if I could raid in 20 years. I don’t even know if WoW is still going to be around in 20 years let alone me playing it.
I have no idea what opened my eyes to this, maybe it was reading Vidyala’s post, or maybe it was me failing my calculus course. Yeah I know, it’s just hitting me. Failing that course might prevent me from getting into a medical school, leaving me with a useless biology degree. But that’s how my life has been for the past 6 years. I’ve always been thinking about WoW, if not directly playing it, I’ve been thinking about what blog posts to write or thinking about all the wonderful friends I’ve made in game and through the blogging community (I don’t regret that part at all). WoW was a HUGE part of my life and I’m beginning to think that is shouldn’t be as much, or shouldn’t even be at all.
Her third sentence made me really stop and think not only about WoW but about this blog Bag Overflow. I started blogging because I had just finished writing my book (excerpt in the about tab) and I wanted to keep my writing skills sharp till I began writing the second. Anyone want to guess how far I’ve gotten in it. If you guess 0 words you’d be correct. I set a goal this year to contact and agent or publicist by my birthday April 23rd. I actually toyed with the idea of shutting the blog down. I mean it’s not like this thing has been a huge success (I’m proud of it so I guess that counts for something). On a good day I get around 30 hits, meanwhile others get 2000. But shutting it down would feel as if I’m turning my back of all my friends in the blogging community. Turning my back on Rades and Vidyala and Ophelie and Angelya and Windsoar and Saga and Red Cow and Gauss and Anea and Kamalia so many more! So I’ve decided to keep the blog up and running even if my posting shedual becomes even more sporadic. I also started playing WoW again for more than 3o minutes today and it even got entertaining for a while, how long that lasts I don’t know but for now that’s what I’m sticking with.
As always thanks for reading, this sloppy post.
-Anslym
Hey Anslym, I appreciate your comments. My remark wasn’t meant as a judgement on anyone else by any means. The thing is, I started playing WoW at a time in my life when I didn’t have a lot going on personally or professionally. WoW has brought me soo many good things – it’s helped get word out about me as an artist, bringing in commissions and income! It’s helped me make some great friends (even a few local friends) and helped me learn a few things about leadership via guild mastering. It’s been great. But at the same time, it can be easy and seductive to pour all your energy into it because you get immediate, tangible results – and when I first started playing it was definitely a form of escapism.
So WoW has been great to me, and it sounds like it’s been great for you too, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with realizing that you CAN have too much of a good thing. Especially if it’s started to affect your schooling and your life path/career, it’s good to take a step back and say “Hey, maybe this isn’t the best thing for me to be focusing on right now.” Even if you don’t blog, you won’t lose your blog friends like us – you can always comment, or keep in touch via Twitter! Being a surgeon is a heck of a dream and will take a lot of work, but you can do it! You’ve already shown how dedicated you can be to a goal, there’s nothing wrong with shifting your focus to your real life (and you might find it’s a good thing).
For me, raiding less has been the BEST thing, really! I find I have more time for everything. Cooking (which I love to do), and working out which has taken a back seat for too many years. I feel happier and healthier already. It’s really made me realize just how much life I put on hold for WoW.
That’s exactly it! I started playing this game right before highschool when I had absolutely nothing going on (and it should be that way at that age), I guess I kept up the mentality because I could (sure high school had it’s hard moments but it was easy…. easy compared to University). That being said I’m way more organized this term (see: actually using textbooks for more that hundred dollar paperweights). I suppose I can write off last term for being rough because I wasn’t used to university. We’ll see if I’m more prepared for it this time around.
As for writing the novel I think my biggest issue is sitting down to write. The actual act of getting the ball rolling is the hardest. Once I’m writing I can go on for hours. That being said who needs to sit down and start writing when there are randoms to run, dailies to do, etc.
This blog is and still is about writing to me and that’s the way it will stay. The only thing changing on that front is WoW will be put on the back burner. If the writing situation doesn’t improve then I can revisit the blog burning idea.
Thanks for comment Vid, it feels like I wrote the what and the how in my post and you filled in the why.
Hey Anslym
It sounds like you’re at a crossroad with many intersections.
I can definitely relate to your situation because I’ve been in it before. Sometimes it’s just best to choose something you want to do or get rid of and just let it go. It’s funny how when I let whatever problem go, I can focus on what I really should be doing.
You can always blog about something else.
I hear change is the only constant in life